In addition she explained to me that many mature women her age have younger lovers besides the marriage with the husbands approval.She further commented on that topic that the libido of a young man and a seasoned woman would be a perfect match.The husband does not need to worry about being inadequate and his spouse would gain the desired attention and satisfaction finally.I asked her to be more specific, she hugged me and said: "I don't want to hurt my feelings" but I don't listened and begged for more details and honesty on her part.I heard a sigh coming from her mouth and she said: "hun you neglected me for ages and when we have sex finally it's unsatisfying to me and your stamina is not what it used to be also"For years I don't noticed a change for the better, so better get used to it that your wifey of 17 years is taking a lover.I asked her for real? She replied: "hun I love you but I have physical needs" "we must change our situation for the better as quickly as possible" I would. I’m not ashamed to admit it, what is shame after you have lost everything you ever wanted? I cried myself to sleep there on the floor.About three in the morning, I woke with a monstrous headache and churning bowels. I stumbled into the bathroom and barely found the toilet in time to throw up all the beer and that damn absinthe Sven had insisted we drink. After I dry heaved a dozen or more times, I crawled to the sink, and hauled myself up. Light spilled in from the bedroom area, I had neglected to darken the room before wallowing in my damnable self pity.I looked like I felt; a haggard old man more friends with agonizing death than ever I would be with Rachel. A lost soul. If my prose leaves something to be desired, surely it is because as I write this, I’m reliving the agony I felt, the pain of loss, of staring deep into Nietzsche’s abyss, and the harrowing feeling of being drilled to my core by the eyes of the beast. I filled a glass with water and rinsed out my mouth.But it wasn’t.
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